I am trying to keep up with my daily posts, so I think this will be a regular entry–the foibles of me!
My husband and I head up a Christian home education program, and we have a group of dedicated leaders that provide support meetings for our folks. Every year as a end-of-year gift, I bake them all loaves of my organic whole wheat bread, AND since everybody has way too much junk, I stopped giving candles and trinkets in lieu of books. Because you can never have enough of those!
This past June, I found a bunch of cool home remedy and survival type books that any sensible person might need in case of an earthquake, a Wal-mart closing, or a hostile takeover. I just found out that one of the leader’s innocents was thumbing through the book and noticed a couple of things that caused him to question his dad’s and mom’s salvation. One was an explicit drawing how-to of breast feeding. The son was sure dad was not supposed to see that! The other was directions on how to roll a joint!
Okay, I’m pretty sure that puts me on some homeschool administrator black list, and it also means I will be checking every page of next year’s books!
Wow! who knew what crucial information we have at our fingertips! Even with that interesting bit of news, I still really appreciate bread and books!
I thought it was hysterical, though, when Audrey let me in on that little bit of news! Doesn’t it seem odd that rolling a joint would be in the categroy of secrets to know for survival, like building an outdoor toilet or constructing a shelter. I wonder who wrote these books!
Ah yes,….. survival in the wild! You have become the talk of the home school town! But if an earthquake crushes your joint roller, it would be a huge relief to find instructions on how to hand roll. Of course…..you would also have to find papers. Unless they instruct you as to what tree leaves you can smoke. THAT would be a good survival tool, especially for cigarette addicts. Then…how to breast feed…..THAT was a little weird. Seems pretty logical, except – we do have male therapists in the hospital teaching new mothers how to breast feed reluctant babies. Something I have always found a bit perplexing. Were there instructions in that book about how to build a squirrel house? If there is, could you copy and paste them to me? :0)
Squirrel house? Mmm. I have a trap you can use!
I will need to write some time about my first breast feeding experience. The person (or biddy) that helped me was a janitor, I think! But she knew her stuff, and I am forever grateful to her rough and ready ways.
Another story!
Thanks for your comments.
I wish I knew more gift-givers like you… No, I don’t want that particular book, but I appreciate that you stopped giving junk. I tell you after a birthday to-do, I have a big smelly bag ready to be passed on to the thrift store as soon as time allows. Why is it when someone doesn’t know what to give you, they buy stinky stuff? Candles, infusers, lotions…. I would be blessed to receive a card alone.
Thanks for the laughter.
I have grown allergic to the smelly stuff, as you say, so it is not a good choice for me either! The books are actually good . . I think. But the joint entry was an obvious surprise. Good for a laugh!
This year I avoided the party, but gifts keep coming. I hope this gives you a chuckle, but one of the gifts I received was a candle. Its scent, “Elf Sweat”. It took me awhile to read what the label said because of the font, but “sweat” was pretty obvious, it was only after googling, Sweat candle, that I realized the first word was Elf. I don’t know what to say about that…. If I used Facebook, I would figure out something to put on my wall.
HA! Someone has a demented sense of humor . . . and will probably sell a bundle!