Okay, I’m cleaning out my friends on Facebook, so let me know if you want to stick around.
- If you are an uppercase F “Friend,” do nothing. You are in. I may not have a clue who you are, but you laugh at my jokes and “like” all my posts, so that makes you worthy.
- If you are a lowercase f “friend,” press the bullet point to remain on my list; if you don’t get the affirmation jingle, then within 5 minutes send 50 bucks to the Paypal link listed below. If you still don’t get the jingle, vote Independent in the next election and try again.
- If you are an anonymous friend or a friend of a friend, and I don’t have any idea why I accepted your friend request, write in the field below in 500 words or more why I should even care whether you are on my list or not. Of course, if you play Scrabble, you automatically move to the uppercase F variety–no questions asked.
- If this field does not acommodate 500 words, deposit 5o bucks as indicated above.
- Link: PAYPAL!!!! If this link does not work, send a $100 cashier’s check to my cousin in Africa; email to follow.