The Battle of Wounded Me

(Tonight's sunset: I may be injured, but not so much I can't hobble out and capture cool skies. It's like the Hubble Telescope, only with a Hobble.)


1. A hiccup is as painful as a sneeze.  Not that you could stop either even if you wanted to.

2. Right turns in the car are the worst, so have husband only turn left.  It could be a long ride home.

3. Find out why time passes slowly when you hurt or are in the dentist’s chair, but quickly vanishes on vacation.  Ask a scientist or a philosopher.

4. Dismiss any kid from class who has an injury worse than yours.  It will diminish your sympathy quotient.

5. Find out why the meds given to help with pain inflict more pain in the way of migraines, not to mention acute liver failure or dementia probably sometime down the road.  At least, I’ll know who to blame, if I can remember.  Ask a friend.  Do not ask a doctor.

5. Find out why when you go to the doctor because of an increase in pain, she hounds you about your LDL.  As if I care when I’m dying.  Do not ask a doctor.  Ask a lawyer.

6. When you are already in a deep whine, do not share said whine with husband.  He will try to cheer you up with jokes when all you need is a good cry.  If you get the jokes, you will still get the cry because laughing hurts–almost as much as hiccupping and sneezing and burping and moving and living.


The title is meant to be a clever allusion for humor’s sake and is not meant to disparage Amerindians or Kevin Costner’s role in Dances with Wolves, so leave me alone.  Venting is a form of homeopathic health.  At least, that is what I am telling myself.  And don’t ask the husband.  Ask me!

(This was taken this morning on the way to work--sacrificing for art y'all! Notice the cool circle rainbow.)

About apronheadlilly

wife and mother, musician, composer / poet, teacher, and observer of the world, flawed Christ-follower
This entry was posted in Humor, Photography, Thoughts, Uncategorized, Writing and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

19 Responses to The Battle of Wounded Me

  1. Susan Gaddis says:

    Laughed all the way through this one. Great post. Especially #6.

  2. Madhu says:

    You are funny! I’m sure that made you feel better 🙂

  3. tootlepedal says:

    I am sorry your pain relievers are so ghastly. It’s not what you want at all. Broken ribs take away all of the pleasure of lying down as well so I can see why you let the occasional tiny moan escape your otherwise stiffly buttoned up lips. There is a well of sympathy over here for you.

  4. Dor says:

    Thanks for sacrificing! Your photos continue fascinating in spite of your pain and anguish. You are triggering the Mommy instinct in me and I so want to help. Can you bind yourself up so you are able to sneeze? I am so proud of you keeping your sense of humor through this ordeal. Go ahead and cry whenever you want to – you deserve a good cry. Then think of it as “the perks of pain” – great photos and great jokes that make for great blogs.

    • I have only sneezed once, and that was enough. I press in with a pillow or my arm like the doc said, but believe me nothing helps that! So I hold my nose. The hiccup was just as torturous. Argh. I guess only time will help, and I am counting days; in the meantime, I’ll milk the humor in between the tears!

      I took no meds at all last night, not even Motrin because my ankles were all swollen. All I can think of is it is so much medication. The last time I had edema in my ankles was my first pregnancy in 1974!!!

  5. desertgnome says:

    Hehehe. Don’t worry, everyone knows that venting is like spring cleaning for your spirit. The best medicine is a sense of humor so keep going:)

  6. susansplace says:

    Oh good grief, your post made me laugh, in a sympathetic way!! I remember when my husband had open-heart surgery and came home with staples up and down his chest. The first sneeze was not something anyone would want to remember. That’s when we learned about holding a pillow to your chest. Hope you’ve healed since this writing! Love your posts!

  7. Judy says:

    Oh dear, Lily. You make us laugh, yet you cannot. I love your humor and come to get my fix as often as I can. Love the car ride #2: Turn left only! lol I cracked up. Had to read that to my husband.
    Keep up your wonderful sense of humor. And if you need it…take some meds…there’s no use suffering. (and don’t read the contraindications on the back of the bottle!!!!)

  8. Lindy Lee says:

    Funny words & stunning pictures…

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