Giving Up 1000 Gifts

379 - Copy

I gave up on writing my 1000 gifts.  It’s not that I don’t have life-gifts to be thankful for.  And it’s not that it wouldn’t be profitable to record them, but since it has taken a year to get to #90, I have decided my list is done.  For now.

The journal I was using would get buried under my school materials (Oh, and I am thankful to have an income-producing job!); and then, it was an out-of-sight-out-of-mindish kind of thing.  When I would think of it again, I would feel guilt—not for being ungrateful, but for not recording my gratefulness (I guess I can be thankful my heart is not so hard I cannot feel guilt.)

So am I not really thankful?

Am I not really aware of all the blessings I have been given?  Well . . . maybe some days.

029 - Copy

But other days, most days, I wonder at the aggregate complexity of a single raspberry and how luscious it feels on my tongue as I squish it and taste it with all my sweetness receptors.  I glance up from my computer because I catch movement in my peripheral vision (How great is peripheral vision!  Think of how much we would lose without it.) I look into the face of a hummingbird, tentative, but daring to feast on the nectar so close to this big person in the window.  He flutters red, now black, now magenta, and now lively green.  He looks at me directly, all the time assessing his safety factor, not knowing what pleasure he is giving me.

131 - Copy056 - Copy

And I look up at the clouds moving fast, traveling all the way from the Gulf of Mexico to brighten my day with their mounds of dark and light, pushed on by bullying wind. And, hopefully, they hold a little rain left over from the drenching in Arizona.

310 - Copy

And back to task, I prepare a writing assignment, and joy spills out in the words that tumble one after another onto paper or screen or my mish mash of post-it notes.

So I really am thankful for many things, in spite of what my journal says—or doesn’t say.

Each day is filled with moments of pleasure and remembrance, each stacked one upon the other as I tackle my daily tasks.  And if I took the time to search for my journal and record them, I might miss it.  Life, that is.  So at least for now, I’ve decided to put my 1000 gifts journal on hold and just live the gifts.

*************************

(For those interested in Ann Voskamp’s lovely and inspiring book One Thousand Gifts, it is indeed a good read!)

430 - Copy

About apronheadlilly

wife and mother, musician, composer / poet, teacher, and observer of the world, flawed Christ-follower
This entry was posted in Christian, Faith, philosophy, Photography, Thoughts, Uncategorized, Writing and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

24 Responses to Giving Up 1000 Gifts

  1. Office Diva says:

    Didn’t you just achieve 1,000 followers status? Maybe you can cheat and just cut and paste their names, that will push you over the top. JUST KIDDIN!! :O)
    See, I am paying attention. Very nice work……..enjoy your blog.

  2. Perhaps one of these gifts is the ability to know when you’re done with something. No sense plodding through an exercise that was supposed to enlightening when it isn’t.

    • I love Ann’s process that she goes through in her book, but for me right now, it just isn’t working. My friend is her agent. I hope he’s not disappointed. 🙂 Nah!

  3. pattisj says:

    My journal seems to keep getting buried on my writing desk, but I shall continue to add to it when I see it.

  4. tootlepedal says:

    It seems to be wise not to make having blessings into a chore.

  5. nutsfortreasure says:

    Very nice Lilly

  6. dan4kent says:

    So appreciate the feel of ‘live feed’ that comes as you relate your awareness with your surroundings. For what it’s worth, I don’t think gratitude is defined by a scoreboard. It’s essence lies in how we breathe. So honored to be there to hear your inhale, but even more so to hear what follows. True. True. Dan

  7. Lindy Lee says:

    The good treks right along with the bad, side by side, back & forth, whether we want them to or not. The good we can choose to outweigh the bad if we want it to, no ‘not’ involved. Herein lay your lovely thoughts & views in this post…

  8. Beautiful photographs and a wonderful post-it has reminded me to pause and take stock of the many gifts in my own life-

I would love to hear from you!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s