And Then

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Sometimes, I despair of living—it is too much work, too much pain—and even empathy for others’ pain is a weight,

and then my grandchild smiles, and the sleepy weight of her softness nestles deep into my chest—

and then the hummingbird flies iridescent, and dives and drinks and soars, lifting high my spirit—

and then my look-alike grand shakes her wily will and shows to the world that she does not need a village, but she does need a grandma.

And then a song moves in and through me and weight becomes weightless in the expression,

in the worship, but

the hunger to be free and home pulls strong,

and the release of material things gets easier, iron fingers opening,


the longing comes . . .

and then I feel your arms and your need and love that has been built on the ragged edge of two broken personalities,

and then I hear the soul cry in the eyes of the lost and wandering ones, our lost and wandering,

and hope comes with a will—

a will to press on,

and will swells in tears and sanctified joys,

and then.

About apronheadlilly

wife and mother, musician, composer / poet, teacher, and observer of the world, flawed Christ-follower
This entry was posted in Christian, Faith, Photography, Poetry and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

16 Responses to And Then

  1. hadorable says:


  2. You’re speaking to my heart here — what an inspiration!

  3. patsy miller says:

    You describe well the powerful workings of His Holy Spirit in the inner depths of where we hold our deepest pain….the Awesome Power of His Divine Love, Compassion, Understanding; letting us know He is right there, hearing our plea(s), caring to care/carry our load, bringing us to that anchored ‘knowing’ that faith is birthed and realized….PRAISE AND THANKSGIVING floods our souls, and He is exalted for all that He does….and for Who HE IS.

    “This hope we have as an anchor of the soul,a hope both sure and steadfast and one which enters the veil, where Jesus has entered as a forerunner for us, having become a high priest forever according to the order of Melchizedek.” Hebrews 6:19-20

  4. soonie2 says:

    I think my heart just melted a bit here. Beautiful.

  5. dorannrule says:

    Those are deeply moving words….

  6. David Hall says:

    Delicately beautiful.

  7. Wonderful words echoes of my own thoughts and feelings but so much more beautifully said. 🙂

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