Book of Uncommon Prayers: State of Mine

It is a selfish state of mine when all the world exists for me; and

in my mind,

I weigh worth against my own need. And

a demagogue rails and acts the fool, and I rail back because of how he makes me feel; and

it’s my opinions that hang in the balance not the fates of rulers and nations.

And a bully’s words never fail to disappoint—and

it’s my cynicism and disillusionment that hang in the balance not the fates of souls.

 

It is a selfish state of mine when there are so many FundMe’s and so many pictures of the abandoned and bleeding that it becomes easier and easier to scroll on by—

dismissing the problem because it is not

mine.

A lasting look might bring conviction, and I have neither time nor energy for conviction

in this worn state of mine.

 

My heart gets smaller as my vision gets narrower.

Enlarge my selfish self to see the needs You see.

Increase strength to carry my share.

Help me to stop crossing off crosses—

checking off tasks I am unable or unwilling to do.

May Your mind, oh, Christ, overpower my fictions and fill my soul with

illumination.

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About apronheadlilly

wife and mother, musician, composer / poet, teacher, and observer of the world, flawed Christ-follower
This entry was posted in Christian, Faith, My Book of Uncommon Prayers, Poetry, Uncategorized and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to Book of Uncommon Prayers: State of Mine

  1. jmgoyder says:

    You have exactly and uncannily described my own state of mind in trying to come to terms with certain people who have done us so much harm. No matter how hard I try, I cannot continue to forgive and am feeling so lost. Thank you for this prayer.

  2. Patty says:

    The truth is that everyone is motivated primarily by his own personal needs. Almost everything we do in this life is motivated by the effect it will eventually have on us. This post made me cry. Convicted of my own selfishness and lack of concern in the comfort of my own home. Seems I want justice but am not willing to place myself in a position of discomfort for this to be possible. I gasp at the reality of our current world, but what am I doing to make a difference? The good news Lilly, is that God sees us for who he created us to be, limitations and all. He created you to be a sensitive soul, a writer, musician, photographer, defender of injustice, mother, and grandmother. I believe it is through our convictions that we are able to feel how God must feel as he observes his masterful creation that has rejected him.
    Thank-you for this cup of humility
    Patty

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