Nursery Rhymes Re-visited

Jack Sprat could eat no fat—80-10-10.
His wife could eat no lean–Paleo.
And so between them both, you see,
They licked the platter clean.

Jack and Jill went down the hill (makes more sense)
To fetch a pail of water.
Jill fell down and broke her crown,
And Jack came tumbling after (gender equality).

Rock-a-bye baby, on the treetop,
When the wind blows, the cradle will rock (duh),
When the bough breaks, the cradle will fall,
And down will come baby, cradle and all (Call Child Services!).

The itsy bitsy spider went up the water spout.
Down came the rain, and washed the spider out.
Out came the sun, and dried up all the rain
And the itsy bitsy spider went up the spout again (the American economy for the middle class).

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words . . . hurt more.