If real life were like Facebook, one moment you would pass me by without even acknowledging my presence, regarding my life as uninteresting with nothing to offer. The next day, of course, we would enter into meaningful conversation and act like we were the best of friends.
If life were like Facebook, you might hold up a special photograph, and I might like it but never say so. I might even show it to my friends and ooh and ah privately or steal it for my desktop, but never let you know I loved it. Other times, I might say LIKE, then move on so quickly as to give you whiplash. I would dash to the next person in line who was showing a funny cat video on an I-pad, leaving you wondering what was more special about cats.
If life were like Facebook, without the cultural conventions of “hi” and “how are you,” you would randomly give out a personal detail or dive into a political rant–just shove it out there and walk away. Then after a cup of coffee, you would come back only to find a circle of friends and almost friends discussing the item you had long left behind, and you would wonder if they even remembered who had started such a hot discussion item in the first place.
If life were like Facebook, you would have a captive audience to show all your home movies to–the only difference being you would not have to serve snacks, and friends could get up and leave without saying goodbye. Of course, they never said hello either.
Hmm, maybe we should not expect Facebook to be real life.
Of course, without Facebook I may never have learned from all those friends’ posts how to nuke and shuck a corn cob or sharpen a disposable razor blade, or I may never have found new friends through my social connections or found out how evil Monsanto is. And I would still be forgetting birthdays and be stuck spending money on cards and postage. Excuse me . . .
I need to go check my status.